i was having a conversation last night with a friend and we ended up rambling off some useful knowledge we had learned from our years as underlings in the professional world. so i thought i would share them and possibly help someone who hasn't had a chance to recognize these simple helpers.
this list is in no specific order and by no means "complete", but merely a collection of the ones we have learned, limit in part, by my memory of the conversation.
order after your boss at business lunches - this is mostly because of the alcohol factor. we had found that in most cases if you let the boss order, they will order an adult beverage allowing you to follow suit. but don't over do it, if they order a beer, DO NOT order a scotch, especially at lunch.
consider actions of composure - bodily language and comfort level is important to interpersonal communication. keep a couple of "plays" ready in your pocket for use at vital moments. for example, at an intimidating meeting, take a moment, stand up and remove you jacket or roll up your sleeves. when doing so, remark about how the action makes you feel better. another example is to ask for water, or if there is a pitcher and cups in the room, take a moment out and go get yourself a glass. these things will show that the situation is not bothering you and that you are confident enough to take timeout for yourself. another useful idea, specifically for interviews, is to have keep a list of thoughts or questions about meeting, but it could be anything, handy. if there are important points of the meeting, or decision points, make notes. as well as ask for a minute to review your list implies that you had an expectation of what you should get out of the meeting. all in all these ideas will show you have composure, and a prepared, confident demeanor.
give yourself an out - good salesman have a knack for asking structured questions, directing people to an answer. so when your buying a car, or being asked to commit to an idea, remember to allow yourself time to think it over. but simply saying "i would like to think about it" could leave you in another difficult situation, telling someone that you don't like their idea isn't easy. so by closing with something like "i would like to review the options" is a far better response. because you can tell that person that another options seems better, as opposed to outright saying you are not interested in their idea, solely considered.
don't help shit float - manipulation is not limited to salesman, the workforce is littered with manipulative people who for reasons of incompetence or just plain laziness pawn off work on anyone who will do it for them and making them successful in the eyes of company. this can be a tricky area, but if have a good relationship with your boss, open communication about should provide the support you need to avoid being victimized. for the bold, carry a business card of your own personal consulting business and present the card to the slacker with an invitation to discussion projects, time lines and compensation during not business hours. for those with less of a sense of humor, clarify you managers backing and simply tell the slacker "i am being told that work is not in my scope".
the proverbial "we" - for those with a choke collar on their left ring finger we call a wedding ring, you already know how this works. but for anyone who doesn't, i'll explain. we communicating, verbally or in email, use the proverbial "we" whenever possible to support your position. remember, if you are your own business, you are not an autonomous unit thus always a "we". important to note, don't let this concept supersede you getting credit for your work. don't "we" when it was "i" that did something wonderful. take credit for your work and stand by that, but use the "we" to back yourself when needed.
[long pause] - a good technique for extracting more information from people is by the power of suggestion. if you ask a question and don't get an acceptable response, don't react right away, maintain your listening posture and silence. this will imply to the personal answering that you have not gotten what you are looking for and they should continue to try an answer the question. you would be amazed at how well this works.
the "power outfit" - have at least one "power outfit". along with the colors that suit you, have a suit or professional attire that makes you feel confident and powerful. think about it, all the powerful people do, superman, wonder woman, batman, cat woman and even underdog!
ok, that is all i can think of (or remember) at the moment. so digest those and feel free to share any tips you may have picked up along your travels.
